Dear Lani: On Conventions (Part 2)

Welcome to this week’s Dear Lani, an advice column to answer all your kinky questions. Want to know how a guy gets fitted for a chastity cage? Want to know what gag reflex training looks like? We’ve got your answers, or at least advice…okay, opinion.

Q: What is a fetish or kink convention really like? What can I expect if I go to one?

A: Thanks for your patience. Here’s part two of our coverage on fetish conventions. We’ll discuss in this article, the two other aspects, panels and vendors.

There’ll probably be a lot of panels and events you want to attend. If you can get your hands on a schedule before the event, then it’s all the better before you can start planning ahead of time. Prioritize which ones are a must-see and which ones are the ones that pique your interest. But this is not a solo event! If you’re going with a partner, treat them with letting them pick which event they really want to go so. This is especially a treat if your partner is your sub.

Many of them require sign up in advance because of limited spacing and timing issue so you may be spending a portion of the first day signing up. It’s important to try not to book a lot back to back because of time frames and the need for breaks. Depending on how large the convention is, you’ll also want to give yourself enough time to walk from one end of the convention to another if the events you want to go to are spaced far apart.  Remember too that likely many of these events require carding so make sure you always have your ID with you. 

There’ll be other places to visit besides panels and main events, as well as vendors to check out. Make sure there is time in the schedule for that, as well as for just mingling with others and potential private play sessions. You don’t want to overbook yourself! We cannot stress this enough.

So let’s talk a bit about vendors next, because there will likely be vendors, everything from toys, gears, fashion to essential oils. It’ll be worth your while to go scope them out on the first day. Always go see all the vendors on site. Find out if they are there all weekend or only on certain days as some only book s few days and skip the last day since many people will be too tired and broke to shop the last day. 

Talk to all the vendors that interest you. The biggest issue most convention vendors have is that people ask for their cards and promises to order later – 90% of those people will not. So strike up a conversation as you collect the cards. Ask them what their fav speciality item is and ask them what makes them different from other vendors. That way you can take notes and jot them down on the card to let them know you’re serious.

Once you’ve gone around once and picked up the cards of who you like, go take a break. Spread the cards out and see what you liked about each of them. Discuss with your partner and see what vendor catches their eye? Who did they like? Who did they feel comfortable around? Was there a particularly rude one? A pen is handy for marking down which ones you want to go back to. This is one way to make sure you stay within budget and not blow all your money on the first day.

Overall, conventions are a great way to gain some new experience, learn some new things, network and shop. But plan your time there well to get the most of what you want out of it.

Got a question?

Join the The Muse’s Touch Facebook group to submit your questions and join in on the discussion. Every Tuesday, we’ll be picking one question to answer for the following Monday.

Disclaimer: We are expressing personal opinions and views. These opinions or views are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health professional.

2 thoughts on “Dear Lani: On Conventions (Part 2)

  1. I tend miss the Tuesday post so I’m going to leave my follow up question here.
    I’ve already done some of my own digging but for some who might not know where to look, where is the best places to get information on conventions and and even introduction parties?

    1. Depending on how large the con is, there are websites and forums available. Word of mouth from the community is always a plus. Fetlife has tons of options for smaller meet ups. And then it’s fun when you see a poster up in the wild of public domains! I usually sit and watch people’s reactions! But I know there are major conventions in Vancouver, Montreal, and Halifax yearly.

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