P. Stormcrow

The birds were chirping. The skies were clear, and the sun had already climbed up high up, ready to blast the day with more of that late summer heat.

And Finn hated it.

Even wearing the light linen shirt with the roller up sleeves provided little respite, and it was still early. It didn’t help that the air conditioning at the apartment broke again and the one in her car was shit. She was already counting down to the days when fall would come around once more.

Stepping into the warehouse, she let out a sigh of relief. Although there was not a single air conditioner in sight, the place was cold enough to double as an icebox. She’d freeze later, but for now, it was what she needed.

“How’s it going, partner?”

She shot him a glare of envy. As usual, Jackson looked comfortable and unbothered in his standard blazer and shirt with the popped up collar.

“That good?”

Finn let out a long groan as she threw her messenger bag onto her desk and slumped into her chair. Goosebumps were forming on her skin as the relief crept towards the edge of too cold.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got something that’ll distract you.” Jackson slid a folder along the wooden surface to her. 

It was all about distraction since the incident, as she came to think of it. But she glared at him, narrowing her eyes as she took the file. “As good as the slime last week?”

“Hey now, no one knew that ectoplasm could manifest and explode like that,” he protested.

“I can name a few shows and movies that say otherwise,” she muttered under her breath. She was still trying to get the stains out of her clothes. 

There was no more retort from him, so she turned her attention to studying the papers before her. Three victims, dead, connected by only one common thread. They had all gone to the same showing at the same theater.

“So, what do you say?” Jackson grinned and held out his arms. “Would you like to go catch a movie with me, Agent Reed?”

Her pulse sped up. I will not blush. I will not blush. This is just work, for fuck’s sake. Him and his stupid charm. She rose from her seat and punched him in the arm instead of taking it. “Okay, fine. But we’re using your car.” It had a better cooling system than hers did right now.

He waved her off with a chuckle. “Hey, look on the bright side. At least the temperature will be nice there.”

Her partner had a point. “Let me use the washroom first. I’ll meet you up front.”

“Got it.”

She ducked in and chose a stall at random since no one else was inside at the moment. It wasn’t until she came up to the porcelain sink that her chest tightened. This was ridiculous. Her rational mind reminded her of the need to wash her hands and she forced herself to turn on the tap, ignoring the way her body shook. She could almost hear that roar of water in her ears.

No. She would not have another episode over washing her God damn hands.

“What you are feeling, what you are experiencing is normal. You suffered great trauma and you are still trying to process it. Stuffing it in a box and ignoring its existence is not going to make it go away, Agent Reed.”

“Fuck!” She squeezed her eyes shut.

“You’re not broken. Many people go through this, from paramedics to heart attack survivors. It doesn’t make you any less.”

Yes. It. Does. Beads of tears formed in the corners of her eyes. It had been almost two months. The first week, she couldn’t even tolerate a shower or bath. But she hadn’t died. She didn’t have any permanent injury. How pathetic was she?

The water grew louder.

“Take this.”

“What is it?”

“Buddhists use stone or wooden versions of these to meditate. The Greeks call them worry beads. Wear the bracelet.”

She slipped the jewelry off her wrist to wrap across her hand, then slid a bead under and past her thumb to move on to the next one. Over and over.

“Turn your awareness toward your body.”

Okay, I can do this. She wiggled her toes in her shoes. Shifted her weight from leg to leg. Breathed in and out as each stone passed through her fingers. The sounds of rushing water faded to the trickle of the faucet.  

Finn pushed the bracelet back onto her wrist, washed her hands as quickly as possible and rushed out of the washroom, only to slam into Jackson.

He helped steady her. But after a quick glance, he drew her into his arms once more for a wordless hug.

He knew. He always knew. But all he ever did was hold her. By and by, her subconscious had come to associate his embrace with safety, and he provided it without asking for anything in return. In those moments, they weren’t agents. Just Damien and Finn. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t professional. It helped her get through the day.

As soon as the last of the episode faded, she stepped back and cleared her throat. “So who worked on this before us?” Finn questioned as she resumed their walk. 

“Koo and Allen. But he’s home with a cold and Koo asked for a favor.”

“Huh.” She couldn’t imagine the stern woman asking for favors from anyone, but she shrugged. Far be it for her to judge.

As they stepped outside, she braced herself for the blast of heat, her body grateful for it for all of ten seconds before sweat formed on her skin until they entered the car and Jackson flipped on the air conditioner. It still took a few minutes for the temperature to become comfortable again.

“So, what made them send the file to us in the first place?” Finn asked. 

“There were witnesses, and they all swore it was one of the main characters from the movie that did it.”

“What? No!”

“Yups. And they checked too, as insane as it sounds. The actors and actresses are all currently filming in other countries.” 

“So what? The case of the cursed film?”

“Now let’s not jump to conclusions here.” But there was a smile lurking in the corners of Jackson’s lips. “That said, I like how that was the conclusion you jumped to.”

Finn rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help grinning too. She must have set some kind of record for how fast she went from skeptic to believer. But she had seen too much, experienced too much to hold on to her denial.

For the next few minutes, she sat back in the passenger seat and enjoyed the subtle breeze coming from the air vents, cooling her skin without chilling her bones. But when she turned towards the driver side, she found all good humor having fled Jackson, leaving him with tightness around his features and lips set to a thin line. 

He’s brooding. Why is he so attractive when he’s brooding?

Finn shook her head. No wonder half the women in the office had massive crushes on him. Not that any of that was important at the moment. “Damien?”

“I went to see Gerard last night,” he cut in and exhaled, as if holding the confession all this time was killing him.

His old partner. His ex’s dad. Well shit. She waited, knowing there was more.

“I struggled with this for a while, but I figured he had a right to know that someone who looked identical to Maya had popped up. I thought it would be better to come from me instead of him stumbling on it himself, seeing her on the news or something.” 

Jackson had never sounded so unsure of himself before. When he remained silent, she prompted in a soft voice. “How did he respond?”

The bitter, self-deprecating laugh that followed made Finn’s chest ache. “He took a single look at me, told me to go away and slammed the door in my face. I didn’t even get a word in.”

“I’m sorry.” What else could she say? She was shit at comforting people, one of the many complaints her own ex had of her. 

Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know why I expected any different outcome.”

Because you’re a good person that wants to keep trying. Because your regret continues to haunt you every day. Because you care. There were a thousand reasons she could think of in an instant, but she gave none of them a voice. She understood that kind of guilt. She had seen it eat at her father for not being able to save her mom. It wasn’t until years later, well into her adulthood that Finn realized the only thing that had kept him going after was taking care of his daughter. Her. “It doesn’t matter what you expected, does it? You would still do it, anyway.”

His eyes widened, but he didn’t look at her as he pulled into a much nicer parking lot than the one back at the base. 

They were here.